Which I have taken for granted
Which I never thought would be gone
People who I've always thought would stay here and stay on earth.
But now they've faded away.
Yet not into oblivion, at least not for me.
As Kitchie sings "Why am I the only one standing stranded on the same ground?"
Why does it seem to resonate deeply within me?
Is it true for me?
Has it been true for me all those years since I first heard that song?
What have I really felt in my 'glorious past'?
Was I really that happy with what I had?
I guess I wasn't, even back then.
Because I always thought I lacked something
Because I always thought I could've had more
Because everyone I've ever seen and been with, I look at them with time bombs in their eyes.
As if they will be obliterated at any given time.
But now,
I always go back to those days where now that I'm here, I'm thinking maybe those were the best days of my life.
The glorious past.
And maybe now if I stop thinking about the past or what the future may bring, I will realize that these too are glorious days.
That these too are the best parts of my life.
That those people are the best I have now.
The best situations are what I've been experiencing right now.
The best I can do is what I do now.
And what I did and have been doing so far.
That the best years are what I will make of them in the now.
That this very moment is glorious
And will somehow be something I will remember as a 'glorious past.'
Somewhere in a future still so distant
And I hope it will be the same there too.
Something glorious waiting for me.
If only I know how to make the most of it
How to cherish every bit of my freaking life.
Every solitude.
Every person God places and retains in my life.
Every sad
Every happy
Every flat states
Every now
Every then
I hope this doesn't just remain as a distant memory
Or a disconnected cell in my brain
Gone into oblivion which will die with my physical body
I hope this doesn't remain as a hope.
I hope I'll make it.
I will.
